I start this post like I start all my posts. With no idea of what I'm going to write about.

steam locomotives, dentists, 5 days 15 hours, oral sex, orange and lime juice (94% orange, 1 % lime. and they have the balls to call that orange and lime), 1 huge huge bowl of pasta, wilson N 135, caterham 7, money, cars, driving at 4 am, long and fast roads, no traffic, no speed limits. thats what I'm thinking about. along with fair to midland, helhammer, venom, emperor and calf muscles.

I have finally realised what I need in my life to be really happy.

Sexy woman who lets me blow all my money on fancy cars (or car, depending on how much money I have). an open road. an intelligent funny companion who doesn't mind being woken up at 3.30 in the morning and picked up and thrown into the passenger seat of a caterham 7 to go for a really fast drive to someplace quiet and serene and beautiful as dawn breaks. good food. good house.

I already have the rest.

-raw talent for many things. *check* (no this is not me being arrogant. well it is. but i like to think of it as justifiable arrogance)

-looks. (see its all subjective at the end of the day, isn't it. I'm a piece of art. hopefully not modern art).

-humour. check. i crack myself up easily.

-intelligence. debatable, but i do show bright sparks sometimes.

most importantly, I'm a genuinely good guy. I used to fight a lot. my parents have come more times to meet my principal in school than to pick me up. i have plenty of 'gangsters in training'....(u know the kids or semi-adults who come from a family of thugs, or whose elder brothers are dealers) who hate my guts, and would like to see nothing better than my lifeless body lying on a roadside. I have some serious 'back', you know, big shot gangsters who are my uncles, and their 'gangster in training' kids as my cousins. but all in all, I wouldn't hurt a fly. not unless it hurt me. and then I'd destroy it, and everything about it. and everything around it. and everything it stood for. I'm a good guy. I try really hard to be. but honestly, there are things about me, that are not very pleasent. I've been known to run 3 km just to get a girl an umbrella because it started raining, and start fighting because a guy swerved in front of me and braked abruptly, while he was still a good 3 car lengths away. but yeah. all in all. im a good, nice guy with firm values and respect and love for his family.

I can do 180's and J starts in my moms car, and can scare the shit out of my friends while i drive them and take my grandma to hospital and her her say that i'm the only one she's ever been comfortable sitting in the car with. i rock. woohoo. and less than a week to go. i can not begin to describe how lonely i have been for almost a month now. all the company in the world couldn't replace my best friend, my kitten.