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stringbean

that really is a weird title for an entry right? i mean, who would ever title a blog 'stringbean'. it would have to be someone who is so far ahead in his thinking, a complete visionary. thats me. i mean think about it, thus far, you the reader have read this bullshit, and there has been absolutely no talk about beans.

anyway, bet it got your attention. mission accomplished.

the main purpose of this entry was to announce this kickass upcoming movie titled Kisunja 2 . Return of the kitten. releasing tomorrow, this movie promises to bring with it, a lot of action, a lot of passionate sexual encounters, and a great nights sleep.

Racism

It is frightening to believe that people in this world still believe that race has anything to do with nationality. And I mean, these are educated bright and learned people. scary. my girlfriend believes that anybody who was born and brought up in russia, but is not from a traditional russian race, is not russian in the true sense. I agree with most of what she says, but that was a shocking statement.

It makes me feel bad for russian people, and more importantly russian ethnic minorities, as well as for all mankind. backward thinking in a forward era. what is more surprising is that these are the same russian kids who can't sing their own russian national anthem. i mean, one would believe that if ur so proud of being russian, and being white and everything, ud atleats have enough nationalistic devotion to learn the frikkin anthem.

race is one thing, and culture is another. there are indians who have been born and brought up in the uk for 2 generations who look indian, have indian names, but are as far away from being indian as is humanly possible. race, and culture. two separate things.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fRScPVDSD6k&feature=related

its funny and sad, how people hate other people because of their nationality, or colour of the skin or language. it is sad.

whats funnier is, that these are the same people who go to church, and apparently are devoted followers of god and live life on the true path. was hitler a good guy? no. do people love him and remember him fondly? no. he could do something about his hatred, and he did, and the world was never the same again. what makes the average racist, who hangs out with his other friends and beats up people just because they may have another faith, or language or skin tone any different from that bastard? they are just as despicable. plus they can never be respected, cause they aren't even good at hating.

now don't get me wrong, every russian isn't an asshole. there will always be assholes in every country, but it is still shocking that a country that likes to think of itself as a superpower has a youth that is so mentally un-developed. Lux is wonderful, smart, intelligent, everything. but some of the other cunts you get to see on TV seem like they are money-hungry, US crazy assholes. sad. and pathetic.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=79wU5B6hAEQ&feature=related

It is not uncommon for russian guys to go "I hate indians/pakistanis/niggers/chinese" according to my research on russia(limited to youtube). dude. when has pakistan ever done anything to you? or india? all we do is give you billions of dollars to buy defence equipment from you (because, would you believe it, thats the only industry Russia excels in. apart from oil and gas, which they didnt have to work too hard to acquire).

I only feel pity for the country as a whole that its youth is like this. the man makes the country, and if this is what this country is made of, then it is bound to deteriorate.

The canadians, UK, US, even Australia has been very good to immigrants. relatively. check out their economies now.

With incredible PR like this, who would want to ever visit Russia? I mean, sure I'm scared of being beaten to death, but more importantly, I am bound to find the people of that country mentally sick.

Lux herself told me, if you speak english, its ok, but any other language and ul be treated badly. what is this mad obsession with the west? It makes me really happy to be from India, where we actually embrace all religions, and languages (don't get me wrong. there are assholes everywhere).

we actually like the russians, and amire the fact that they continue to speak, learn and advocate their own language and culture....

but still sad. when the youth of the country is not interested in politics, and running the country, and the class divide and corruption is this much, this country, this magnificent magnificent country, with such rich history, will eventually end up going to the dogs. and the reality is, that it already is there, and needs to come out. Russia, imho lacks nothing, but the youth to wake up for it to rule the world. until then, they will always end up being the butt of all jokes. i mean seriously, although those "in sovviet rrrussia.....vodka drink you" jokes might be funny, i cant imagine any russian looking at that not being affected. and the truth is, that there are plenty of young russian people who are not affected by it, and are ready to blame the whole fucking world but themselves for their plight.

I know its wrong to say this, but it makes me love my country more now that i see so many things that we have, that other people in the world don't have.

Lux once told me, that russians perceive india to be like the worker ant factory. u know, the cheap place to get everything done. im happier hearing this, knowing that there are youngsters, more and more, who want to eb engineers, doctors, lawyers, to the extent that people perceive us to be like that. fuck the UK, they ruled over us for 400 odd years. we can still fuck them up whenever we need to.

India not only has cultural diversity, we love other cultures and languages. its this zen like thinking, the attitude of live and let live that I have now realised that I love about my country.

At the end of the day, i know this sounds like a miss world pageant answer, but i hope that we can all love one another, respect each others faith, country, language and live in peace and cohabit this planet in a mutually beneficial way.

I don't hate russians. I love russians, love their heritage, culture and language. I just hate the assholes in russia, much like i hate the assholes in India, US, Australia, everywhere.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wQde-vHlLh8&feature=related

and when you can't sing your national anthem, recall the true history of your country, name some war heros from your country, but want to beat up people cause of the colour of their skin, even though they are fucking contributing to your economy, you aren't being nationalistic, you're not patriotic, you're just racist.

sport

I was just reminded of this debate I had with lux a couple of days ago.....

about how she can't respect people who race around for a living. because they don't contribute to humanity. she condemns sportsmen too. all of them except long distance runners and sprinters.

its easy to put anybodys profession down, or diss someone. especially if ur not aware of what they do, why they do it and what effect it has on everybody else.

aerobatic flying and air races.

had those nutters not been craving for speed, and the ability to out manoeuvre their opponents, we could never have had the engines we have today. the aircraft engines of today are something amazing. compare today with a day 50 years ago. thats it. 50. you can get around the world in less than 24 hours thanks to those non-respectable buggers flying their machines out of their skin. aviation as we know it today stems purely from the world war era, and of the air race era before that. man has always wanted to go faster, fly higher, reach for the stars.

had those motherfuckers not been whizzing around in their tiny incredibly dangerous little prop planes, we would have no space program. most of the aeronautical engineering that we know today is a direct lesson of that era.

everyday, people can get into their cars and drive safely to work at a nominal cost. nominal, because the car itself doesnt cost that much (its the oil, that we've seen for millions of years thats the problem). My friend had an accident. crashed his car into the barrier, survived thanks to airbags, a crumple zone in his front fender and a safety catch in his fuel pump. all these innovations come from formula 1 racing.

these racecar drivers wanted to make 1 litre of petrol last longer so theyd have to wait longer to refuel, and thereby beat their opponents. this led to sevaral automotive engineers struggling to make engines more powerful and efficient. remember the mileage a car used to give 30 years ago? now think of the modern car. 5 times as powerful, 5 times less thirsty. all thanks to formula 1 racing.

innovations all around us. things that make us more efficient, faster, economical can source their origin to one of two things: sports or war. case in point- the jet engine.

today Lux is 3 hours away from home because the nazi bastards made a plane that could fly faster than a prop. this brings me to my other debate.

sports is war. but not as bloody. man, of all shapes, colours and form, is competitive. even if everything was ok, everyone had food, shelter whatever, some bastard would come up and start attacking the other guys to gain more. greed, aggression and ruthlessness is an integral part of the homo sapien. now that we have organised sports, most people who in barbaric times would have attacked each others countries and gone to war now support their world cup teams in soccer. hilarious? am i retarded? yes and no. think about it. ever wonder why there are stadium fulls of people who wear their colours, yell and scream and dance their victory dance when their player scores a goal. well, is it so far removed from the thousands of soldiers on a battlefield wearing their army uniforms carrying their nations flags battling each other.

we are human, we want to feel superior to other humans. wars in the past have not been purely for survival. no. a kingdom who was at peace. had all the natural resources it could need, still had a massive armies and occupied territories it could easily do without. why? because they could.

we are assholes. all of us. thats the beauty of the human race. sports just gives us a place to vent our aggression, where millions of people dont die. thats the beauty of sports.

ever wondered why the olympic games came into being in ancient greece? some crazy motherfucker like me realised that instead of fighting wars, lets just let athletes sort this shit out. so different 'countries' trained their athletes....spent money on them, the athletes were a source of pride for a nation, they commanded certain respect. they competed in sports which required the athletes to have the same abilities that a soldier would need in war. speed (sprinting), strength (weight lifting), stamina(long distance running), accuracy with a weapon(archery) etc...........

the wars of today are complicated. now we have sophisticated weapons. fighter aircraft that require skill, and the clarity of thought that is required at mach 2 to act and win. thus we have high speed racing.

speed, skill, patience, brute strength, strategy are all integral to the sports we see today.

football can bring nations together, unite people of different class, creed and colour. fuck that, u can have a kid in south africa, india, russia and greece supporting the same team. might not speak the same language, different lives, culture etc....but when the motherfuckers scores....they all jump together. that is fuckin beautiful.

now im not saying that all sportsmen have these noble intentions of bringing the world together in peace and harmony. no. they do it cause they like it. football, racing, flying is their passion. just like lux's passion can be money, security, stability. if she can follow her passions, why should these athletes not follow theirs.

fuck that. golf. golf requires no skill, strength, speed, accuracy....right? just go to a golfcourse once and swing at a ball. ul realise what its all about.....

its so easy to diss someone else, their passions, their beliefs.

any athlete can come up to me and tell me that i am nothing but a guy who takes other peoples money and bets with it to make money for myself. he wouldn't be far from the truth. he can go to lux and tell her that she works towards making companies more efficient. by making them more streamlined, so people lose jobs, automation takes over. and these companies can make more profit, and their ceo's take home a bigger bonus while their marketing campaigns helps them charge a higher price for the same goods.

who is right, and who is wrong?

no one.

we should all go after what we want. Mr. Valentino Rossi wants to be the best racer ever, be the best of the best, be internationally famous.....he goes for it. and does it. i want to be rich, i should go for it too.

it doesn't fuckin matter what u do. just do what u do to the best of ur ability. have ur own goals and fulfil ur ambitions.

btw, u know the one reason why i like sports. its the desire to be the best. to have no equal, in the world.. combination of speed, skill, talent, endurance and effort.

rossi, has 5 world titles. more money than god. more fans than anyone else. he is racing his team mate lorenzo in this clip. lorenzo has 1 world title. team mates. talented. but the desire to win is so strong in both of them. winning, being the best matters more to them than money, fame, publicity, whatever. that is what makes them great. check my lord and master Valentino Rossi in this clip.

whole race gone by.....last 2 laps.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-HvvnpGgEKg&feature=related

wow.

at that last lap. each of them had only one thing in mind. winning. not the money. not the fame. but being able to control a machine that does 350 km/h better than the other guy. to be able to control a machine at 200km/h at a turn where they are leaning their bikes at 50 degrees and still out-think anyone else. that is something...

pandas and watches

i just cant get this panda song off me head.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v6iHCFiSqIw

the panda is a douche. but the song is so stupid and catchy. like im singing 'just you know why.....' on the tube, in my loo, at work aaaaarrggggghhhhhhhhh. its fuckin driving me crazy. just you know why.........its awful when crappy songs get stuck on ur tongue because people start believing ur retarded and ur choice in music is lame. not that i care what other people think. ok who am i kidding. i do care.

just you know why................

anyway, its time to tell you about this kickass new present I'm buying myself. so remember, if you look back in 3 years and go....meh.....remember, you really wanted this watch and were super excited about it.

you have to see it first, before I tell you the story behind it.

This extraordinary timepiece is the only 'official' watch ever worn on the Moon and the only watch flight certified for astronauts and cosmonauts during their walks in space.

On 1st March 1965, OMEGA's Speedmaster chronograph was "flight-qualified by NASA for all manned space missions" as the only wristwatch to have withstood all of the U.S. space agency's severe tests under conditions of zero gravity and magnetic fields, extreme shocks, vibrations and temperatures ranging from -18 to +93 degrees Celsius.

In the same month, the watch was for the first time worn officially on board the Gemini 3 mission.

In April 1970, the OMEGA Speedmaster rescued the Apollo 13 mission from a potential disaster, earning OMEGA the "Snoopy Award", the highest distinction awarded by the NASA astronauts. In another historical event, the Speedmaster was worn on the wrists of both the American astronaut Tom Stafford and the Russian cosmonaut Alexei Leonov during the historic Apollo-Soyuz space rendezvous. This was the first time the cosmonauts also wore the OMEGA Speedmaster. Ever since, the Speedmaster has been the official chronograph of all Russian manned space missions.

The greatest moment in the Speedmaster's history was undoubtedly 21 July 1969 at 02:56 GMT, when it recorded man's first steps on the Moon's surface. The Apollo 11 mission was a milestone in history and the Speedmaster became the first watch (and the only watch since) to be worn on the Moon. With this unique accomplishment came a unique nickname: the Moon Watch.

here is Buzz Aldrin wearing his moonwatch on the Apollo 11 mission:

Ed white had already completed the first space walk wearing this very watch before this. it truly is a piece of history.

and it looks really hot on a black leather strap too...

I'm just thrilled I'm geting such a sexy watch :)

to read more, look here

http://www.omegawatches.com/spirit/hall-of-fame/watches/the-legendary-moonwatch

btw, on the Apollo 11 mission, the cockpit mission timer malfunctioned and Neil Armstrong had to leave his speedmaster inside the craft as backup in case Buzz Aldrin's watch got damaged during his time on the moon. A conversation is copied below:

108:54:54 McCandless: Neil, this is Houston. Will you give us hack when you start your chronometer. Over.

108:55:03 Armstrong: Roger.

108:55:08 Aldrin: Give it to them later.

108:55:12 Armstrong: Okay. Okay, let's go to dump.

108:55:17 Aldrin: Dump.

108:55:18 Armstrong: Go to dump. (Long Pause)

108:55:40 Aldrin: Houston, I'll set my watch at 56. Over.

108:55:50 McCandless: Roger.

[Buzz is wearing his watch on his suit sleeve and, apparently, is setting his at 56 minutes after the hour, corresponding to the upcoming Ground Elapsed Time of 108:56.]

108:56:00 Aldrin: 3, 2, 1.

108:56:02 Aldrin: Mark.

[Buzz reopened the dump valve on his mark. This is the start of the EVA.]

this watch helped these astronauts get back home.

The Apollo 13 mission ran into serious trouble when the ship had a ruptured oxygen tank on board. The speedmaster helped astronaut Jack Swigert calculate the rate of burn and complete the mission. heres a pic of the man himself

thanks to this, omega was awarded the snoopy award for supporting the lunar manned project.

wow. thats a lot of information. however, just remember Nidhaan, what you're about to get is special, its special to you as you write it, and I'm sure it'll be special years from now too. just incase it isn't....remember you wrote this and found all this information at 2 at night just cause you were so excited. cheers, and enjoy the watch.

Eddie Vedder.

what a singer, what feel. I've been listening to Pearl Jam for a long long time. In my opinion, the most average bunch of musicians ever. like seriously. no one knows who the bassist is, or the guitarist or the drummer. still, people remember the songs.

jeremy would be my favourite. from the ten album. love the song. infact the whole album was gold.

night attendant at a gas station to lead singer of an internationally famous rock band. seems like a story out of a movie.

like seriously.

ok.

the quality of my writing has sunk to new subterranean levels. i mean, i was always crap.....but now im like the craps crap. why is this so?

well i just found out that people have been reading this shit.

listen motherfucker! if you've been reading this, thank you. im flattered. now, fuck you. cause i can't write like myself.

i changed the fuckin webpage cause i was getting hits on my other page. i mean. i want people to read this. people like you, random person....and make me feel appreciated, loved, maybe even cared for....NOT!. ok. it is a strange situation. i want people to read what i write, and i dont want to know that they do when actually i do cause that makes me feel good, but knowing that makes me write crap just like this fuckin post. im fuckin incoherent. wow. i do write well.

anyway. i am going to stop thinking about the millions and billions (or 7) of people reading this shit and just write what comes to me naturally.

ok.

here goes.

nyaaaahahahahahahahahaaaaaimakakakakakajuijuijuinetetetetetetetetetekekekekemamamamamamamamama.

phew. glad i got that off my chest.

ok. now for the real deal. i just started working. guess what. im a fuckin investment banker. no jokes. yes. the legendary shit drummer for that shit punk band which did well is now a fuckin investment banker who just got paid an insane amount of money today.

more money than ive ever had in my whole life. more money than i would have made in a year had i taken my previous job as a software engineer in a multinational.

i work hard. sorry. hardly. atleast right now while im still training...in 2 weeks its going to get really rough. im talking 7 to 8 working hours. and i dont mean 7-8 working hours. i mean 7 am to 8 pm. really looking forward to that.

fuck me sideways. i now have so much money. and no time to spend it. it sucks. life is all wrong.

all i wanted was enough money to buy a couple cymbals, maybe afford pizzas once in a while, top up the balance in my cellphone. now i have money, no drumkit, no place to keep a drumkit in my really tiny apartment in a really posh development (we have a private cinema, swimming pool, gym, sauna, steam room, solarium, blah blah blah), no time to hang out with friends, no nothing. i was unhappy then, im unhappy now.not really. i was ultra happy then, when i could do all that shit, now that im all old and mature (im 23), i can finally do all this other shit i could never do. i am now soon-to-be the proud owner of a stunningly sexy omega speedmaster professional moonwatch with a black leather strap and a clasp. oh yeah. fuck yeah. oh oh yeah.

anyway. gotta sleep. job tomorrow. and then. the weekend. oh yeah baby.

of love hate and friendship *edit* and stupid knock knock jokes.

why must we hate?

when i say 'we', i dont include me. i don't hate anyone, and very few 'thing's'. im not bragging. its fuckin true.

im all about hurting the other guy, and not me. so hating makes no sense to me. cause the only thing that gets hurt when i hate, is me.

ignorance however, is a nasty little weapon. helps you stomp all over the other person's ego, save some face for yourself and generally keeps you in a calmer frame of mind. don't get me wrong. i dont mean anger here.

im angry as hell. but its a spike. i go from calm to serious anger to calm in the space of 3 minutes. maybe less. ive always felt my anger is a gift. i dont want to let go of it. its helped me all my life. you could call me stupid, irresponsible, ive once even been called jackass:the indian adventure. but nobody, and i mean nobody can ever tell me that ive backed down from a confrontation when i know im right. thats the one thing i can say with pride. im not proud of fighting, i hate to fight. everytime i fight, i know no matter how much i hurt the other guy, tomorrow i too will wake up with one or more parts of my body aching, and possibly my face(my meal ticket(i wish)) not looking so good. however, for anyone who has not felt the adrenaline rush of getting into a fight and laying a punch which has all your body behind it on another guys chin:

1) either ur a nice and lucky guy.

2)you backed out. got scared. next time, fight. i know its wrong to say this, but be a man.

i dont imply that fighting makes you a man. but standing up and not taking shit does.

why am i like this? what makes me this way. 2 answers:

- my father. the most courageous guy on the fucking planet.

- westerns. influenced my father, influenced me. used to read them before sleeping and have crazy dreams.

i idolize my father, as well as hate his guts. we get along epicly when we are united against a third person. but have ego problems with each other. he can still beat me up, break my arm in arm-wrestling and play better sports than me when im 23 and hes like what....49?

the man is truly phenomenal.

anyway, so where was i. yes. hating. not worth my time. and now that im working (more on that later), i find i have even lesser time now and hating anyone is out of the question.

hmmm. how can any post be complete without a mention of my kisunja. kisunja has left me to meet her mom. im all lonely. the internet is nice, but i know it'll be tough sleeping tonight.

but hey. one good thing. i got to update my blog :)

recently blogs and twitter accounts became a big topic of debate(polite term for fighting) in mehome, but fuck that. i honestly don't care about the topic, the fight or the twitter blogs.

damn, i wish i knew some cool quote which i could put down here and seem all intellectual to myself. meh.

ok ok. heres one.

knock knock.

whose there.
boo.

boo who?

stop crying you stupid bitch and open the fuckin door!!!

ok. that was lame of epic proportions.

roses are red, violets are blue.

wtf. i thought violets were well, violet. i mean its not called bibgyor right.

who the fuck thought it was a good idea to call violets blue. seriously. its like calling a dalmation a zebra. no. it isn't. but its close.

jumpinjellyfish

we can skip, we can walk, we can run, we can talk. we can't fly, we can't hold our breaths underwater for 3 hours, we can't live in extreme temperature. we try to do what we can do better each day. we try and use our brains to do what we couldn't do. we have aircrafts, submarines and space shuttles.

hunger is key to success. success is key to happiness. happiness is the ultimate goal. or is it? well it is, for me.

i live to be happy. i need to be happy to live because death scares me. being scared makes me unhappy.

thats it. i feel sick. no more typing.

could it be could it be
that you're joking with me
and you don't really see you with me.

you always end up paying a price for being genuine. an illusion is what the world wants. give it to them. everyone must fit into a stereotype. you can be an individual, as long as you fit into a character dreamt/ fantasized about.

women. they want everything. they want a ripped 6' 2" stud with a 8" dick and knows how to use it, who is a complete bad boy. gets into fights (and wins), is aggressive, both in his demeanor and in bed, and doesn't take any shit from anyone, and earns a shit load of money cause he's intelligent and hardworking and really funny. added talents like being able to serenade her are optional but not essential. yet at the same time is super sensitive, never raises his voice when he's talking to her, caters to her every whim like a pet poodle, and can take endless crap dished out by her without losing his cool. its not realistic.

guys. they want everything. they want a 5' 8" woman with beautiful hair, head-turning looks and a super-models figure (but with bigger boobs), who earns a lot of money cause she's intelligent, is a supportive girlfriend and wife who never puts any pressure on you to earn too much as long as you're happy, can cook wonderfully well, is dynamite in bed and will try every nasty little thing he can think of, and will let him spend his money on things he wants, like bikes and cars. its not realistic.

here lies the problem. its never going to happen. if the chicks hot, she cooks awful, or not too bright, or not very loving/caring. if she's sweet, she is useless in bed. if a guys ultra aggressive, he's in jail, and won't earn any money. if he's calm, and a wimp, she won't find him hot and go and fuck some guy who is ripped, while still living with the wimp because he earns a lot of money and gives her security.

unless everyone starts wanting a little less, nobody is going to be happy. and the moment that happens, there is no motivation to improve, there is no progress in life, their is no self improvement, there is nothing. unless we want, we can never get, innovate, achieve.

its all messed up.

yay yay yay.
yay yay yay.
yay yay yay yay yay yay yay.

theres just one day,
thats all thats left,
between me and she tucked in a bed.

sing it with me!

theres just one day,
thats all thats left,
between me and she all tucked in a bed.

we shall be,
so carefree,
for it will be a whole month,
that we've not seen,
each other
and now it seems,
wild horses,
couldn't pull her away from me.

silly song. but.....

yay yay yay.
yay yay yay.
yay yay yay yay yay yay yay.

?!

why do we do these thing?
these stupid stupid things.....
when you're doing them, hell before you do them. you know its not a good idea. its really stupid. there is not one positive outcome from doing it. you're only going to hurt yourself if you do it. yet you still do it. do you hate yourself? do you think that if you get hurt its a punishment and you deserve it? nobody deserves shit. you deserve to be happy, as does everybody. and everybody should actively work towards becoming happy. your unhappiness will not contribute towards anothers happiness. if you've wronged somebody. move on. learn your lesson. become a better human being, and help the world. you'll end up helping that person. and if not, you'll be dead tired to care. so win-win. Be nice. Be calm. Be alive. Be you, minus the crap.

I start this post like I start all my posts. With no idea of what I'm going to write about.

steam locomotives, dentists, 5 days 15 hours, oral sex, orange and lime juice (94% orange, 1 % lime. and they have the balls to call that orange and lime), 1 huge huge bowl of pasta, wilson N 135, caterham 7, money, cars, driving at 4 am, long and fast roads, no traffic, no speed limits. thats what I'm thinking about. along with fair to midland, helhammer, venom, emperor and calf muscles.

I have finally realised what I need in my life to be really happy.

Sexy woman who lets me blow all my money on fancy cars (or car, depending on how much money I have). an open road. an intelligent funny companion who doesn't mind being woken up at 3.30 in the morning and picked up and thrown into the passenger seat of a caterham 7 to go for a really fast drive to someplace quiet and serene and beautiful as dawn breaks. good food. good house.

I already have the rest.

-raw talent for many things. *check* (no this is not me being arrogant. well it is. but i like to think of it as justifiable arrogance)

-looks. (see its all subjective at the end of the day, isn't it. I'm a piece of art. hopefully not modern art).

-humour. check. i crack myself up easily.

-intelligence. debatable, but i do show bright sparks sometimes.

most importantly, I'm a genuinely good guy. I used to fight a lot. my parents have come more times to meet my principal in school than to pick me up. i have plenty of 'gangsters in training'....(u know the kids or semi-adults who come from a family of thugs, or whose elder brothers are dealers) who hate my guts, and would like to see nothing better than my lifeless body lying on a roadside. I have some serious 'back', you know, big shot gangsters who are my uncles, and their 'gangster in training' kids as my cousins. but all in all, I wouldn't hurt a fly. not unless it hurt me. and then I'd destroy it, and everything about it. and everything around it. and everything it stood for. I'm a good guy. I try really hard to be. but honestly, there are things about me, that are not very pleasent. I've been known to run 3 km just to get a girl an umbrella because it started raining, and start fighting because a guy swerved in front of me and braked abruptly, while he was still a good 3 car lengths away. but yeah. all in all. im a good, nice guy with firm values and respect and love for his family.

I can do 180's and J starts in my moms car, and can scare the shit out of my friends while i drive them and take my grandma to hospital and her her say that i'm the only one she's ever been comfortable sitting in the car with. i rock. woohoo. and less than a week to go. i can not begin to describe how lonely i have been for almost a month now. all the company in the world couldn't replace my best friend, my kitten.

music, bands, and advice

she was right.
she was so right.

i was going to try to sleep. i would fail. i would switch on my computer.

how did she know. and its not that i'm using this as an excuse to wake up. i just can't sleep. im so tired, yet, i refuse to drift of to sleep. listening to enigma :D. don't ask me why. something about them is unique.something about them is different. haven't heard 'silence must be heard' for 9 years now. the strangest things come back to you when u want to sleep, but can't. slipping into 'return to innocence :D'- love devotion emotion feeling!

my mom likes some enigma songs. my street cred (if i had any) is ruined if this blog goes public !!!

no. seriously. what is it about music that even if you don't want it to, it retains this hold on you. you may think you've forgotten a song. you hear it somewhere, you start singing it because even though you never memorised the lyrics, they stuck.

before sleeping, i heard bands i love, but never bothered to collect their songs, or couldn't find them. fugazi, black flag, the clash, the dillinger escape plan, and bhayanak maut- kickass generic indian metal. i was so inspired, i uploaded bhayanak maut tracks for lux to hear. if these idiots sang clean, she would prefer them over katatonia, the most incredibly average band of all times.

which got me thinking about a debate we had. about bands that were gay.like, they aren't bad bands.......its just that i don't expect any straight guy with reasonable levels of testosterone to like them. they are a bit like rohans 'passion' poster. ok. pretty flower, whatever, but no straight guy is going to have that on his wall. poets of the fall was the band in question that time. ooooh "carnival of rust" wow!!! the most mediocre song on the planet, from a below average band.

there are more bands like these. plenty. i have nothing against them. i just don't listen to the half baked garbage they produce. they cater to people unlike me. im not saying i have great taste in music, but i know what i like and what i don't. trust me, i thought that poets of the fall might be bearable live. THEY SUCK! hmmmm taken enough of a piss on poets of the fall. lets get to some other bands.....we have greenday catering to the homos who like to meet guys with pink hair, we have bands like 12 stones (or something like that), Mc fly, simple plan....all catering to teenage girls with eating disorders and bad grades. we have the pop brigade of the metal world. the first band that comes to mind is trivium. 1 decent song. 1. thats it. crap crap crap. we have lordi (fuck they are bad), sonic syndicate ( every 14 year old wannabe goth chicks dream. nobody else though, not unless rohan starts listening to britney spears metal), slipknot (how do i abuse thee, let me count the ways.....ok.1,2,3,4,5.........).....fuck. I'm not saying "become mayhem", but atleast do what you do with conviction. if you want to tear the stage with gut busting riffs, make them good. dont play with passion and emotion. if you want to write beautiful words and serenade your girlfriend, dont try to be fuckin uber-methull \m/ and make a fool of yourself. trivium. aaaaarggghhhh. talented musicians. talentless band. slipknot - 10 people with the equivalent talent of 1 man. joey jordison can suck my balls. there, i said it.

sonic syndicate. where do i begin. they have this \m/ song. when i heard the title, i was like fuck. ,maybe they don't suck donkeyball afterall. man was i wrong.



the awesome lyrics to their awesomly metal song "rebellion in nightmareland"

"You think you can shield your heart from me?
The dots connected and now I see
How I regret we shared fruit from the forbidden tree
I was entertained to a degree
But now you have your hooks too deep in me"


the title sounds like they deserve the title of "most metal band ever". btw, the song gets even more 'atski'

"The only dream we ever shared was a nightmare
The only being you ever cared about was yourself
This war was lost before it began
I'll pull my fail-safe, launch my plan
And once the dust settles
You wish you would be..."

wow. that gets a tear to my eye. for the wrong reason ofcourse.
there are other \m/ melodic death metal gems from this band ofcourse (they aren't a one puke wonder) .........

only inhuman-the lyrics made me puke. and the funniest shit is that these lyrics are growled out like the vocalist would have no problem kicking a baby and ripping a dogs heart out and eating it. but his lyrics translated are "me pussy ok?"

psychic suicide \m/ -
"I recognized your scars, because I have them too
It cured my contamination to speak of each other's misery"

"ALONE AGAIN IN MY BROKEN DREAMS
WHAT IS LOVE IF NOT A PSYCHIC SUICIDE
ALONE AGAIN IN MY RESTLESS DREAMS
LOVE IS NOTHING BUT A PSYCHIC SUICIDE " profound.

burn this city \m/ -

"Are we alive?
Because I heard a rumor
That the day we died was yesterday
So are we rotting now?
Can't find our graves?" i am left speechless.

double agent 616 -

"I took the fall and on came all the changes
Work your way through the cold shell of my heart
Just to find another layer of stone waiting
I know I'm not a good man, I never was and I never will" suck.my.balls.

ok. vented my frustration. the truth is that i only picked these songs which had the most \m/ metal\m/ names and really shitty 12 year old lyrics. their other songs are at par.....crap.

All the bands i listen to, are average, bad, shit in some way. but they make up for it in different areas. even if its just the passion with which they play their shit. without conviction, there is nothing.

you need balls. you need convistion. otherwise you're a guy going through life wearing a tattoo sleeve. trying to be cool. trying to be something you aren't with everyone laughing at you, or worse politely ignoring you but sniggering behind your back, or worst ignoring you completely.

i dont know whose benefit i wrote that for. future me, if you're reading this, wake up. if you become a half-baked pussy. shoot yourself. you're better off dead.

Ruby, Ruby, Ruby, Ruby
Do you, do you, do you, do you
Know what you doing, doing to me?

Could it be, could it be,
That you're joking with me
And you don't really see you with me
Could it be, could it be,
That you're joking with me
And you don't really see you with me.

my songs changed now. I think the chorus is fine. the second verse could easily be deleted. we don't need no second chorus. I ain't got no second chorus today baby.

मेरी यह मनोकामना है, की मैं ढोल रोज़ बजाऊं। मुझे एक अच्छा गाना सुनने को मिलता है, तभ मुझे उसे गाने का, और उसके साथ ढोल बजाने का बहुत मन करता है।
मुझे आज गाने सुनते हुए बहुत मज़ा आ रहा है। आज मैं कैसर चीफ्स के गाने सुन रहा हूँ। लक्स, मुझे पता है की तुम बहुत प्यारी हो। हाँ, अभी तुम यह गूगल ट्रांस्लाते पे पढ़ रहे हो, और इसे अंग्रेजी मैं कहते हैं "busted"।

the awesomest photograph ever.

well, I'm in it. so it can't be bad.


yes. I'm not that pretty. but I'm with her, so........I must be really rich, or really well equipped, or something....... :D

if we look retarded, its not our fault. i was dropped on my head as a baby. and she's been spending a lot of time in my company. this picture was the highlight of my day. possibly week. but not more than a fortnight.

dammit lux! i hate you. why did u have to let me know u read this. now i'm constantly thinking that if I write something sweet, ul think its for ur benefit. aaaaaarghhhh. muah.

I'm back (back) the fog has lifted
The earth has shifted
and raised the gifted
You knew I'd be back
so pack your bone And hit the road jack
cause daddy's home
With the funky hot rifs
Thick like Al Rowker
Pumpin out hits
Gettin chips like Oprah
Bitch I told ya, do not hate
Or question the music i make (uh)

[chorus]
I make punk rock
and I mix it with the hip hop
I get you higher then a tree top
You wanna roll with the Kid Rock
I make southern rock
And i mix it with the hip hop
I got money like Fort Knox
I'll forever been the Kid Rock
Forever

The junkies are, still cigar puffin
Still the same cause I ain't changed nothin
Huffin and puffin
I got you rookies
All in check doin' the redneck boogie
The king is back to retract the whack
Repacked my sack with a double deck pack
Forget all that i'm still singin
And like kids on monkey bars i'm still swingin
Thought I got dusty
Thought I'd get rusty
thought I'd get rich and quit oh he must be
Fat and ugly broke black and blue
But I'm trim, fit, rich and I'm back for round two
Red white and the pabst blue ribbon
Dead right that's how I'm livin'
Givin you more then the frauds and fakes
They can't make the kind of music I make (uh uh)

[chorus]

The black hat is back, in original form
The ledgible creditable inevitable storm
Way past the norm,still misbehavin
Finger in the air and the flag still wavin
Young crones don't test the boss
Cause I got this sewn like betsy ross
You can floss and front
You can taunt and tease
But you can't fuck with rhymes like these
Thumpin like a drum kit
With rifs that split picks
Pumpin for the kids who twist spliffs and sip fifths
I got the gift I'm about to unwrap it
8 ball side pocket
8 ball in my jacket
Pussy and blow you now how i live
Can't say that Kid
Fuck off I just did
Watch me twirl like Earl the pearl
Or just keep on Kid Rockin in the free world

[chorus]

punk rock
Forever
hip hop
Forever
tree top
Forever
Kid Rock (yeahhhhhhhh!)

punk rock
Forever
Hip hop
Forever
southern rock
Forever
Kid Rock
Forever (yeahhhhhhhhh!)
FOREVER!!







ok. first off.......3rd fuckin post in 5 hours. what the fuck is wrong with me?
anyway, these are the lyrics to one of the shittiest songs i've heard. but i love the lyrics. i can relate to them. here is a talentless ass, whose got very successful on the basis of his confidence in his fictional talents. i love it. he deserves to have people like this song, cause he believes they should. period. thats why i do. id rather listen to this guys shit than a genius songwriter who talks of the planet and birds and love and tears in his bedroom and has no confidence in his work.

every guy who is slower than u on the road, is a ball-less idiot, and every guy faster than you, is a reckless asshole.

hard work, determination and will to succeed never gets you anywhere. you need raw talent. you either have it, or you don't. the funny thing is......we all have it. just for things we never knew.....

I have it. where people are concerned. I can get along with people. I'm a half decent businessman. I have potential to make money, but not as much as my dad and sister. we all have some talent. some people are brilliant at coming up with ideas, those guys are the innovators. some make the money, those are the businessmen, some please people, those people are the pimps, the authors of great fiction, makers of movies like titanic etc, some piss off people, those guys are the paranoid delusional freaks who come up with government conspiracy theories, write great songs, and are pretentious. I once met a guy who was so useless at everything. had no friends, no future prospects, was aiming for a shit job because he knew he wouldn't get anything else, no girl, no guy, no dog, average family, average grades, average everything. did an average job of copying a only slightly above-average idea for a website. had a friend make it for him, another help him run it, yet another helped him fake the no. of hits it got. sold it in 1 year for 1.35 million dollars. bought a sexy house, 1 km from my house. had the hottest chick in college blow him in is brand-spankin-new porsche carrera turbo, and last I heard theyd gotten engaged. He's a shit engineer from a tier 5 college in a tier 2 country. those who dont have it, have luck.

why do we try so hard? why does everyone on this planet struggle? well, almost everyone.....they haven't found out what their 'it' is. don't fuckin try to make 4 million a year if you have the talent to be the best nurse in the world. therein lies the major problem facing the world.

our wants, needs, and desires may not match our god-given, family-enhanced and friends-destroyed skill sets.

know what you're good at. want that. crave that. and you will be happy.

she

she.

she always thought the way to a guys heart was through his pants. she was wrong. she wanted to be loved. cared for, but it was always a trade. a clean cut trade. she would please him sexually, and then hope he loved her. she never realised how incredible sex could be when it was done just for the purpose of enjoying someones body, for pleasing them just to please them, and not to please her. not for winnings someones heart, but enjoying the fact that two people really like each other, find each other incredibly attractive and want each other with pure passion. she met him. but he's not important. its all about her. she is an angel. she finds something she hasn't had before. she is enticed. she resists temptation. temptation follows her. tempting her in a way she's never been tempted. the temptations fake, but the motive is so real. the motive is temptation. she resists, and the more she resists, the more the temptation reduces. she's winning. her morals have come to her rescue. she realises that she can actively resist temptation. and that scares her. how exciting is life without temptation. now she craves temptation. she wants to be tempted. she wants to feel that feeling when temptation overpowers you, and the unbridled joy of giving in to it. she does. its ecstacy like she's never felt before. she's right. she has never felt it before. she is chosen. not by temptation, not by god, but by her own self to play this part in a theatre play, where she can look back in her life, and see the different acts, the different characters she has had to adopt, the different lessons her characters have learned. she's done her job. her work on this planet is over. she can glide away now. no motives. no plans. no resentments. no memories. no existance. and everybody loves her. only the lucky one gets her. say hello to Mr. Lucky.

duck-hunt

what did the bartender say to the neutron when he wanted to pay for a drink?
"for you sir, no charge."

this made me laugh today. don't ask me why. its the geekiest joke on the planet. I'm a closet geek. not a nerd, im not hardworking enough. but yes, i love science. i love to know how things work.....and in my humble opinion, i think i know a little more than the average person. nowhere near what i want to know about. i really do want to be a mathematician one day. ok, thats taking it too far. but i want to understand enough about non-euclidian space, the concept of manifolds etc. I know something about them. but i want more. I want to understand the riemannian penrose inequality. at 16, i understood the problems that lay before anyone trying to prove fermats last theorum.....it was easy to understand why there would be a problem. but i want to know enough maths, i want to open my mind enough to actually understand each step of the proof.

thats my ambition. thats my goal.

and well, while I do that, I'm finally going to get around to learning how to put together a studio, play and record certain key instruments, record all these tracks i play in my head, and make my fortune, or be selfish and never let anyone hear them. haven't made up my mind yet.

to keep up my awesome super macho image, I will have to ride the incredibly sexy vintage triumph I'm going to buy and make my career in something ultra boring.

none of this means anything if I'm not a good person, a great boyfriend, a caring husband and an animal in bed. so yeah.....

oh. and an olympic gold. any sport. i just want one.

to be honest, it may look like I'm asking a bit too much of myself. but i actually believe i can do all of this. I have to do this. this is top priority. if I can't finish this....when the fuck will I act in a sitcom, do aerobatic flying, and be a professional stunt driver?

so much to do. so little time.

Is it just me or is that saying flawed....like where the english is concerned. Its wrong.
so little time. honestly. EPIG FAIL.

I'm going to buy a sexy drum kit. soon. I just have this feeling. in my bones. and then, I'm going to rip everyone a new asshole with my playing......after I practice for 4 years :P.

wow. i just realised how much i like quality polyrythmic metal drumming. meshuggah, here i come baby.

ShellShocked - Assault

what a fuckin song.
seriously, forget the fact that a bunch of teenagers made this. Forget that the kid on lead guitars plays a guitar that costs 50 pounds (marcin shit his pants when he heard that. then felt bad, cause he can't play but has a collection of guitars worth about 20k.)forget that the drummer aka me played this song when he had been playing the drums for 5 months. forget everything. as a heavy metal song, there is a lot of talent displayed in this track and extreme potential.

i love it.

i know its my own song. but i can appreciate quality right. and that is fuckin quality. recorded in a hostel room, that is. took tudu 2 months on a crap pc to do it. but we were motivated. we didn't have 20 pounds to even record the guitars in the track, or pay anyone else to master it.

this is the result when talent, NO MONEY (i don't mean limited finances, I mean NO money), and sheer determination to blow everyone away come together.

www.myspace.com/shellshockedindia

the hottest photograph ever.

if this isn't the hottest picture EVER for a girl to put up on the net, I don't know what is. I found this photograph randomely over the net. The girl obviously doesn't want her face to be visible, yet wants to make sure that you realise how hot she is. the fact that she already knows she's sensational makes it even better.

This made my day. I hope it makes your day too, future nidhaan.

a day that makes you think.

so, yeah.

a lot happened. most recently, I saw a girl at the bus station, and I could tell she didnt have money for a cab, and the fuckin 11:50 PM bus didnt show up, and spending the night at pool meadow looked like a distinct possibility. I asked her if she would like to share a cab with me and my friends till the uni, and then she could've taken the cab further to kenilworth.

I can honestly say that I was not attracted towards this girl, which makes me think that I am indeed a nice guy. I definitely didnt want to leave a woman alone in a bus station alone in the middle of the night.

we went to collect cash, me, V, T, M and random girl. while waiting in line to pull out some cash, i was hit on the jaw with a potato. I can tell you, it was medium sized, but it struck with force I didn't know a potato could strike with. I did not know who threw it, they didn't have the balls to show their faces.......which makes me happy. why happy? well,

1) They were scared of me. Obviously.
2) I was scared of them.

I have lost control a few times in my life, and the result hasn't been pretty. 2 trips to the police station, got blood on my car seats once while I drove the guy I bashed up to the hospital, got stitches from a hockey stick on my head...........that blood was bitch to clean.

but anybody, who would deliberately want to hurt me, just because of what I look like, or the colour of my skin scares me. scares me because now, I'm dealing with a guy whose happiness depends on anothers misery. and we all will do pretty much anything to be happy right. I mean, V doesn't like to study, but he's doing it to be happy later, same with everybody else.

So, basically, the more miserable I get, the happier he gets. Now, I could try to act miserable, but that would make his day, and the next time he needs to get happy, he'l repeat this. Also, my ego wouldn't let me. What I could do however, is stand there and be gandhi, and say hit me again bitches. which would be pussy. or I could challange him to come out wherever he was and face me.

anyway. I remained pussy. taz told me to take cover behind a pillar which was hilarious. cause I am stupid enough to not even back down when facing gunfire, and this was a fuckin potato.

anyway. lesson learnt. next time. wear a t shirt that says "the only kind of potatos I want are curly fries".

Today would be so much different if L was here. shit. I love a girl who finds me hot (just hot, and a nice guy). its the saddest feeling in the world, and yet you're constantly trying to make her 'love' you. and she just doesn't. sucks.

Mint. Sex. Lindt. erm......fedex.

I'm too sexy for my shirt too sexy for my shirt so sexy it hurts!

I'm reading this book by Kurt Vonnegut (thats quite a shitty name btw), and I'm firmly convinced this author is retarded. It has to take someone really special to come up with the ideas he does. His books are badly written (well to begin with, they have sci-fi shit in them), imho, but the ideas behind his books are well, erm, my vocabulary needs improving. His imagination is wild, and some of the stuff he writes about seems way ahead of his time, considering he wrote all this shit in the 60's. I'm really enjoying taking a peek into his twisted little mind, and questioning my own moral stand.

I'm having a lot of fun. or so i'd like to believe. I don't know what it is about mint that is so erotic. chocolate has always been the no. 1 aphrodisiac, but shit, mint???? who wouldve thunk it. and to think of all the times I had wrigleys chewing gum and didn't capitalize on the power of its minty goodness.

hmmm......... gotta make this post funny. thats my thing right? I mean, I see the humour in most things quite easily. hmmmm......fuck. I could make a business out of being funny. I mean, all it will take is my existing (*raises serious doubts in the mind of the author*) knowledge of 'knowledge management' along with successful strategies of implementing it to be profitable while cost cutting at every stage of the value chain while i make someone laugh. low input, maximum output. I could be a millionare. a billionare even. then I'd buy a street-surfing board.

Ok, time for some serious thinking.

Operation - understand nidhaan.

1) likes speed. loves speed.
2) coward by nature.
3) writes stuff like what is mentioned in points 1. and 2. to confuse himself, because it definitely takes some balls to ride/ drive/ walk at high speed. but still fears lizards.
4) is convinced he's the chosen one. like the whole universe exists for him, to train him for something bigger.
5) likes cheap thrills. thrives on them.

why is important to understand oneself?
I don't know.

How will writing down what I already knew help me?
It won't.

c'mon nidhaan, there has to be something to it.....
well, I guess it all comes back to the typing speed issue. I'm increasing my capacity to type more, and thus share great wisdom with all mankind.

why is typing speed so important to you?
as stated earlier, it helps me write more in a shorter duration of time.

and why is that important?
I get more time time to do other random shit.

truly intellectual.

sexy bitch!

sexy bitch.

why have i started saying this? I mean, all my friends are apparently sexy bitches now. and I don't know where it all started.........

on a different note,

I am about to embark on operation 'Y'. what does this operation entail? nothing. if you call giving your whole personality a makeover nothing. I aim to be pretentious now. Like a proper poseur. but i'll do it so well, it doesn't look like I'm posing.

no longer shall your hero be the carefree devil-may-care headbanging to LOG, yet secretly listening to bowling for soup motorhead. He will transform to a literature appreciating, classical music listening ninny. ok, im an ass. just because I dont read it now, doesnt mean i won't like it. lets give it a fair chance. but in life, are there any fair chances? i sure hope so.

I like Pantera, and I like wearing jeans and T shirts (simple basic, solid black grey red) and chunky watches with sports shoes. This is about as far from over-compensating as it can get. seriously. These are personal choices I make, because of my tastes. I do believe I'm a sensitive guy. not the most sensitive guy in the world, but neverthless. My wearing a LOG shirt is as over-compensating as a girl wearing eye makeup, or waxing, or shaving or shoes with pink flowers.

I love girls who do all that, because these girls are acting girly, which is what they should be acting like. why the fuck do I not get to tell every one that I like wearing my LOG shirt then. or that I love wearing chunky watches and my black simple nikes? Those, simply put are my eye make-up and bangles.

Infact, if i actually started dressing 'properly', and wearing slim dainty watches, listening to bands that don't rock, I think would be me over-compensating. trying to be more acceptable. thats fuckin bullshit.

gentlemen are defined by their actions, by their repect towards other people. not by the music they listen to (or pretend to listen to, because most of the times, they just hear it), or the books that they read. Fuck that shit. I like westerns, but you'll never catch me disrespecting a woman, even if she's not a lady.

People who work hard, are the people I admire.

and I like sopwith camels. and people who don't care about them, but know and respect the fact that I do. And i pray that whatever they want, works out for them. even if they won't tell me what they want.